Lessons in confidence

21 Jul

"We gain strength, courage and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face.....we must do that which we think we cannot."

— Eleanor Roosevelt

What 'Go Ape' Taught Me About Confidence

As a child, I was fearless—climbing trees, swinging from ropes, and leaping from heights with joy. But somewhere along the way, the adult version of me grew hesitant. The idea of a high ropes course made my stomach churn. So earlier this year, inspired by Eleanor Roosevelt’s words, I decided to confront that fear head-on. We booked a family trip to 'Go Ape' in the Forest of Dean.

Here are four reflections on confidence that emerged from my experience that day:

1. Purpose Fuels Courage

My motivation wasn’t just personal—it was about being a role model for my 11-year-old daughter, who tends to shy away from fear-inducing activities. I was honest with her: I felt nervous too. But we were in it together. Backing out would have sent the wrong message. Purpose gave me the push I needed.

2. Start Small, Build Up

Go Ape’s course is cleverly designed to build confidence. You begin with low-level practice runs to get familiar with the equipment and techniques. Then you progress through three increasingly challenging courses. Without those initial steps, I never would have tackled the final level.

3. Challenge Catastrophic Thinking

High above the ground, wobbling across widely spaced wooden planks, it felt like with one false move I would be plummeting perilously to the ground. But the reality? I was securely attached to a safety line. The worst that could happen is a slip or a stumble, and maybe a little loss of dignity —not a catastrophe. Reframing fear helps us move forward.

4. Anchor Yourself in Past Wins

Having completed the course, I now carry that experience with me. When I face future challenges, I can draw on the self-talk that got me through:
“You’ve done something like this before—you can do it again.”
“Take your time. Find your way forward.”
“You’ll be proud of yourself once you’ve done it.”

Even the most seasoned leaders wrestle with a lack of confidence—it’s a frequent theme in coaching conversations. The choice is always ours: stay in the comfort zone or step into growth. When we decide to take a step towards the things we fear, we are choosing to place ourselves in a position of learning. Learning builds competence and competence builds confidence.

Facing fear doesn’t mean eliminating it—it means moving forward despite it.

- Ruth Visick-Evans